5Escorts

5escorts.com

5Escorts Review

โœ“ Lots of escort ad's
โœ“ Site is easy to use
โœ˜ Mostly average quality escorts
โœ˜ Site design is a joke
โœ˜ Site features severely lacking
โœ˜ Spam

Score 56/100

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5Escorts.com

Heard the joke about 5 escorts and a monk and what they did with a screwdriver? You didnโ€™t? Well, then I better keep silent and not hurt your sensibilities!

Anyway, I take it that you have heard of 5Escorts.com. They bill themselves as the biggest independent escort directory the world has ever seen and cover every region of the planet, save for Africa. This escort site America seems to know what goes where and today I will be going over the site and digging out things I like and hate about it.

So, hereโ€™s my 5Escorts review, read it and go about doing doughty deeds that get 5 escorts walking bowlegged for a month at least!

5 Escorts And No More!

Ever seen hens with teeth? Well, you have a better chance of seeing hens and chickens with fangs than seeing an escort ad on this site with the rates listed.

Sure there are plenty of escort ads on 5Escorts, but those with rates if any are doing an excellent job of eluding my eyeballs! It almost makes you think that them babes are giving it up for free and just because they can, but thatโ€™s not the case and you definitely need to pony up the cash to root around in their pussy with your cock or digits.

Anyway, I would expect that escorts on 5Escorts charge in the range of $100-$250 an hour. You can get them for less if you book for half an hour or fifteen minutes, but whatโ€™s the fun in that since the holy book says you are morally obligated to pound any hole you see before you with great zeal or face eternal damnation!

Solid Escort Profiles Here

So, after around an hour or so of browsing through what 5Escorts has to offer, I got the impression that it had some solid escort profiles that while not winning prizes for poetry or diction, communicate a great deal and are easily understood. Yeah, you donโ€™t need a dictionary or translator to get what these profiles are saying or how desperately the escorts posting them want your cock warming up their pussy like the hottest BBQ burner on sale!

Now, 5Escorst com has every city and state in the US on its homepage. Even Hawaii is there, just in case you want to dig up jism from the cervix of a girl in a grass skirt! To access escort profiles you just click on the city of your choice and this then shows a new page where you can pick from female, male, trans escorts, plus strippers and bar clubs, erotic massages, phones&websites. Do your best to ignore the last three as they lead to empty pages. Just decide if a female, escort, or trans escort is what your life needs at the moment and act accordingly.

This specific new page also has a My Account, Buy Credits, Contact, Privacy, and Terms link. The first two donโ€™t work though and I donโ€™t have an answer why. These links as well do not appear at the top of the homepage and for some reason are instead found at the very bottom of the homepage.

Colorado Springs in Denver was one of the many cities I had a look at. Clicking this and then the Female Escort section loaded a new page filled with one sentence escort ads with no images of any sort. Examples include Sexy Lexxi -21, Hello Iโ€™m Fancy- 30, and Iโ€™m Very Sweet And You Can Eat My Pussy Till I Cum. The top of this page has a search bar, plus options to search other cities in Denver. Also featured at the top is a Galleries link and clicking it will load escort ads with images.

As can be imagined, I had my cock in my hand when I checked out ads in the Denver area. From what I have seen I would say that women in Denver are not much for talking and would rather let their pussy bear witness to whatever they have to say! But I could be wrong!

All ads have an image or images, plus a unique number and a short bio. Images tend to be of poor quality and you can click on an image to enlarge it, but that will trigger the opening of a new tab.

One escort ad was of a stunning and tattooed 28-year old blonde who called herself Linda. She has quite a rack and wants you to come to her DM if you are serious about sending a boner rocketing up her backside!

Another went by the name of Vivid Vivian and calls herself an upscale girl and a cam model. She also has an Only Fans and I am unsure if she is looking for fellas to subscribe to this or fellas to spread those fat ass cheeks of hers and make her asshole weep!

Wanna get in touch with these chicks? Well, they mostly post their phone numbers or social media links, so that is easy.

Escort profiles mostly look amateurish and appear to have been written in a hurry on a ship during a hurricane. Yeah, most are such as to make a perfectionist English professor swear to wear sack clothes for the rest of his life! Escort quality is generally average at best and if there are VIP escorts they are only good enough for small-town doctors, and would get massacred in places like New York or Vegas!

Escort Number 5

Whenโ€™s your birthday? For sure the only proper way to celebrate it is to hire 5 escorts, with one tasked with sitting on your face all night long, while the others do their best to make your woody the leakiest pipe on the continent!

OK, OK. Now, letโ€™s go see what the 5Escorts looks like and how swell it goes down. Hang in there pardner!

There seems to be a gentlemanโ€™s agreement that all American escort sites should use a white or grey homepage background color and 5Escorts is certainly honoring this with all its might! There are no tabs at the top of the page, with almost the entire real estate being filled with a list of countries, states, and cities.

America is at the left, with Canada at the right. Next is Europe, followed by Asia, the Pacific, and the Middle East. Mexico and Latin America and then Australia and Oceania make up the rest of the package. The bottom section is an About Us and here is where you can learn what 5Escort stands for and how the site admins wank!

Now, 5Escorts says that it prides itself in listing only the best quality escort ads, with as few spam and fake profiles as possible. Actually, though, it is easy to find multiple ads of the same escort and most escorts appear to be amateurs.
More, site features are severely lacking and while the site is easy to use, it feels kinda incomplete.

What I Think 5Escorts

Well, 5Escorts has a catchy name, but it is not really the kind of site you or I could spend hours happily browsing. Given the range of far better escort sites out there, there is no reason to check out this site unless you are being paid in Bitcoin for it!

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