Escort-Eden Review

Quality escorts
Lots of escort ads
Pesky ads
Poorly detailed escort profiles
Escorts don’t state their prices

Score 48/100





Quality Of Escorts


Spam Free



#1. Escort-Eden Alternative

    What did Adam say when he first saw Eve’s ass and tits in the garden of Eden? I think he said this is the flesh that’ll screw my flesh and home of my boners? You can correct me later please.

    Anyway, today is for you, and just maybe the creators of the site Escort had your boners in mind when they were putting together this escort site I’ll be reviewing today. So here’s my escort₋eden review. Hopefully, these Eve₋like snatches will escort your boners to an Eden full of cum spraying fantasies.

Pennies For The Escorts In Eden

    I doubt that escort services have ever been free. I believe Eve’s ass was just too phenomenal to have spread itself around a long schlong like Adam’s for free, and so Adam had to lose a bone to get his boner smeared with wetness. That said, while you are not Adam and so won’t be  losing any bones for your boners’ sake, the one thing that hasn’t changed is that wetness still has its worth. So you can be damn sure that the Eve’s on this escort site won’t be rendering their escort services for free. Well, what will it take to be escorted by an Eve of Eden?

    Sadly, while the escorts on this site are of top quality, they don’t include their going rates in their profiles. Well, I find this hard to understand, and I’ll just assume that these snatches are of so much quality that attaching a price tag to their service seems just way too out of their league. Notwithstanding, you can be sure as hell that no price doesn’t mean these angels in the flesh charge nothing for their services. So, since there are no prices in view on this escort site, I’d have to guess the going rates for the escorts on this site.

    In general, French escorts charge rates that are slightly higher than the average charged by escorts in the States, and so anywhere from $250 to $350 per hour should sit well with the quality of escorts available on this site.

Eves And Their Profiles

    The twats on this escort site are of very good quality. I mean spanking hot and sizzling red with booties and ass that will whip the dirtiest thoughts out of the corners of your mind in one moment and send you searching for an apartment in their holes!

    So, profile thumbnails are large enough to be seen clearly at a glance, and are arranged in rows containing four thumbnails each. Escort profile thumbnails display the escort’s location,  verification status, a short note by the escort, and a Snapchat icon for escorts available on Snapchat. ‘

    And what about hitting open escort’s profiles? Escort profile pages give just a bit more than what is already visible in profile thumbnails. You’ll find information like an escort’s name, age, weight, height, nationality, province, and area. To the left of an escort’s profile page, you will find a collection of HD photos. You sure want to verify how comely these pussyholes are before splitting any slits.

    Again, there is a short block of texts located midscreen that gives a brief description of an escort. Escorts on this site typically sandwich their phone numbers in this block of text too. However, escorts' phone numbers are also located at the top of their profile pages. Finding this at a glance may not be so easy, thanks to the pesky porn ads that drown the site like pussy juices bathing a hard rod.

    Overall, the escorts here are of very good quality and could bend your boner for just looking. However, everything else about this site is really just whack. Naked profiles that have no price info.

Garden Of Eden And Home Of Eves

    After landing on the escort₋eden homepage, I am forced to ask if this is the garden of Eden filled with big-titted and large-assed Eves, or a forest congested with weeds.  This is because you just can’t avoid noticing the pesky ads on this site. They’re not just placed on the site in suffocating amounts. They literally pop up in your face like a stubborn twat that needs some good ramming ASAP!

    Now, about the features of this site’s homepage. The escort₋eden homepage has a white background with text written in green, black, red, and blue fonts. It begins with a row of six buttons that run from the top left corner of the screen through to the middle. These buttons include home, escort, transsexuals, couple, massage, subscription formulas, contact us, and login. Right under this and to the right side of  the screen are two buttons for posting and removing ads. And if you want to do a location-based filtered search, then there is a block of buttons located midscreen showing different provinces in France. The remainder of the homepage contains escort profile thumbnails, just so you can feed that voracious boner of yours to a plethora of pussies!

    In general, the escort₋eden homepage is of mediocre design and just too littered with pesky ads. Whoever designed this must have been wanking his rod at the same. These silly pesky ads pop up multiple times and make navigating the site an uphill task.

What I Think Of Escort Eden

    There are sweetly endowed escorts on this site. But the site is really mediocre in design, profiles are poorly put together, and the sexy as fuck Eves on this site are buried in a thicket of pesky ads. Take the stress to hit up these snatches if you have a friendly boner, if not go elsewhere.

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