Escorte

Escorte.com

    Champagne and escargot are not the only premium French exports out there. The country is a big shot in the escort world and its girls are beautiful enough to make many a goddess look like an ugly duckling that just got dropped on its head!

    Anyway, I am not here to insult goddesses. So, carefully read this Escorte.com review of mine and get busy thinking about what your right hand needs from dear old Santa this yuletide!

Gifts Of Roses

    Are roses scarce in France or hella expensive? Or is there a special French dish utilizing it in massive quantities that’s currently the rage? I’m only asking these questions because a large number of profiles on Escorte.com are requesting gifts of roses. Or has the French economy collapsed to the point that roses are now the new national currency?

    Just kidding! Roses have long been shorthand for prices and you will see that kind of thing a lot in different escort sites. Eager to know how many roses the escorts on Escorte.com want to let you jam your cock into them and get to pumping your special brand of cumming oil into their holes? Well then read on champ!

    One profile is of a black and 30-year old Cameroonian called Nathalie. She’s not a knockout by any measure and has a slightly plump and curvy body, small but perky B-cup tits, and a pussy so shaved of hair you could see your reflection in it if you squinted hard! Nathalie is into both men and women, available for incalls and outcalls, and willing to do 69 XXX, anal sex, BJ without condom, sex in different positions, and erotic massages. If you ask nicely she will pee on you and pretend to be your girlfriend.

    This Parisian chick charges 150 Euros for 30 minutes of her time and double that for an hour. You will of course pay for her taxi or she’s not gonna give up that coochie! 150 and 300 Euros translate to $170 and $340 at the current exchange rates and sure is high.

    Next up is Jensen, a 19-year old Russian model who looks like she belongs on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She’s extremely beautiful, skinny, and perky, with a small and tight ass, plus B-cup tits you could swallow whole without having to first wet your throat!

    Jensen might be oval-faced and look as innocent as a virgin nun who has never dreamed of choking on the cock of the village priest, but she’s quite a baddie in the sack. This hottie will do 69, anal sex, striptease, and give erotic massages. Is there anything on the planet I want more than being in her and forcing her cervix to call me daddy!

    Anyway, Jensen is quite the expensive lay and charges 180, 250, and 450 Euros for 30 minutes, one hour and two hours of her time respectively, and that only applies for incalls. Outcalls are 300 Euros per hour and 500 Euros for two hours and you gotta shell out for her taxi. Going with the exchange rate, 180, 250, and 450 equate to $204, $283, and $510 respectively. 300 and 500 Euros on the other hand translates to $340 and $566 respectively. That’s one expensive teen puss!

    Marius is next. He’s a 21-year old guy with nice abs and a chest tattoo. And yes, there are male and female escorts on this escorts French site, as well as trans escorts. Now, Marius is plenty big on roleplay and BDSM and will both take and give it in the ass. He did not post a picture of his dick, but it is probably the kind that looks like a python that swallowed an owl that was snacking on a rabbit! So, watch your ass with this guy!

    You can book Marius for a full day and that will set you back 700 Euros- $793. Fork over 400, 300 and 250 Euros and get 10, 4 and 3 hours with him respectively. That’s equivalent to $453, $340, and $283. 200, 120 and 100 Euros, on the other hand, gets you 2 hours, an hour and 45 minutes respectively with this hombre. In dollars, that’s $226, $136, and $113 respectively.

    Well, rates vary widely here. And there are VIP escorts on the site that probably charge heaven and earth. But the cheapest rates seem to come from escorts of African descent. One of these, a 26-year old chick called Mariam with really large and sweet-looking tits that almost reach her navel, will take $56 for 20 minutes, $90 for 30 minutes, and $170 per hour.

    The average hourly rate is in the region of $100-$250 and that’s roughly what you will get in the US. Not bad for them Frenchies!

The Escorts Palaver

    Whoever got Escorte.com riled up should come out now and confess. I promise to go easy on them. Yeah, this escorts French site is in a foul mood and quick to let you know it is not here for play. This it does with an arsenal of some rather compelling VIP escorts.

     These VIP escorts are right at the top of the main escort page and there’s no avoiding looking at them. Look too long though and you will soon find Vaseline coating your right hand and your zipper magically getting undone by itself!

    This site has a good number of escorts -over 1600- and more of them load up once you are near the bottom of the main escort page. Escorts on the site have rather large image thumbnails and some have tags that show their status. One profile image thumbnail had a tag that said “Suspicious” and I took that to mean that the escort it applied to might have been selling state secrets to the Chinese or something!

    Profile thumbnails look pretty bare. But once your cursor hovers over them, the age and location of the escort are displayed, as well as some text. You can then click the profile to know more about the escort.

    But before I talk more about escort profiles, I better mention that Escorte.com has advanced search functionalities. Stuff like that is seldom seen on escort sites and seeing it here got me so teary I had to go cry to the missus. Before I could understand what was happening, we were naked on the bed and intent on grinding each other to dust with our genitalia! Never again!

    The advanced search features here enable searching for escorts by age, gender, hair color, cup size, ethnicity, hair length, languages spoken, height and weight. Other options on this site enable searching for an escort by location by clicking any of the many buttons representing French cities. Numbers on each of these buttons indicate the number of escorts per city and Paris has the most by far. No surprise there!

    Tabs on the site also allow going directly to pages filled with new escorts, trans escorts, male escorts, female escorts, VIP escorts, top wanted escorts, and top favorite escorts.

    Now, let’s get back to the business of escorts France profiles. The escort profiles here are very detailed and very professionally arranged. The top left of each profile page hosts multiple hi-res images of the escort and there’s occasionally a video. Arranged here and there are under blue banners are the bio, gift, about me, services, and contact information section. If you are logged in, you can upvote any profile, and comment on it as well.

    Escorts on the whole are of really high class and quality. Yeah, there are a few amateurs with low-res profile images and stuff like that, but out of the 1,600 escorts on the site, I would say at least 1,500 of them are good enough, sweet enough, and pretty enough to be allowed to sit on my face for as long as is comfortable. Hell, I would pay through my ass for the privilege! But don’t tell my missus!

    I can’t say for sure if escorts here are verified, but would bet my next paycheck on it. Anyway, they look genuine.

On Escorts French We Stand!

It is unprofessional, but I am in love with Escorte.com! Now, I just gotta figure out how to stick my dick in it!

    Seriously though, this French escort site is expertly set up and the number and variety of site features are frankly amazing. A white background color is used here, with a thick black header atop and at the bottom of the main page, plus thin blue headers here and there.

    Many tabs are featured, and there are a couple of flags at the top left that enables switching the site language from French to English. One of these tabs leads to a News page, though it is more of a blog, with titles like “How to become A Sex God” and Swallow After Sex.”

    There’s a sign-in/login option at the far right and you can register for free here as an escort, agency, or a member. Registration is very speedy too and you get sent an email verification link.. Spam and ads are absent and there’s plenty to love.

What I Think of Escorte

    Amazing! Brilliant! A must-visit! Cock-engorging profiles! Masterful site design!