Kaufmich

Kaufmich.com

For some reason whenever I think about Kaufmich I imagine it to be a kind of cabbage soup good enough to be ladled onto the plates of the gods! Or something like that at least!

Kaufmich is a site that should be familiar to fellas who like to put their wriggling organ into the wet regions of German escorts. Yeah, it is an escort site in Germany that has more babes than I would know what to do with, even if I had the stamina of a stallion and the cock to match!

Ready for some fun and willing to read some stuff that could make your eyes bleed? Then here’s my Kaufmich.com review. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Willing To Pay The Cumming Price!

There’s a cumming price to everything of course, which is another way of saying that escorts never work for free if they can get you to spend your inheritance on them! Just how much do escorts in Germany charge? Well, that will depend on varied factors, but they are usually expensive unless you can find one who really likes you and is willing to forego payment if you can fuck a series of mighty orgasms out of her!

Anyway, the price range for escorts on this particular German escort site varies a lot. One escort in Berlin named Ava charges 250 Euros for 3 hours of fun. Unfortunately, there’s no picture on her profile so I cannot tell you if she’s beautiful or ugly enough to scare some evil shit from your butthole! You are as well expected to fork over 120 Euros for an hour visit to her residence, or 220 Euros for a two-hour visit to this Berlin escort.

Then there’s a lass named Ashley87 who charges 150 Euros for a 2-hour session, while Vivien, a Hannover escort says you need to pay 125 Euros to visit her for an hour and 150 Euros for her to visit you and discuss matters of great cumming importance!

Prices sound cheap so far, right? Well, I did come across an ad from a sexually active couple who are down with getting nasty with both single individuals and couples. Their fee is 350 Euros for an hour, and 450 Euros for 2 hours. They are active within Munich only and can only visit clients, without the client being able to return the favor.

Last but not least is Laura, a Berlin escort who’s cuter than her name suggests. Her profile touts her as a very open-minded and expert dancer who charges 200 Euros for an hour, 350 Euros for 2 hours, 500 Euros for 3 hours, 650 Euros for four hours, 800 Euros for 5 hours, 1300 Euros for 10 hours, and 1,500 Euros for 12 hours. That’s a lot of money, but then Laura is a lot of girl!

Maths was never a subject I excelled at, which means finding the average price for escorts on this particular German escort site is not the easiest thing in the world. Let me say that generally, escorts here cost from 100 to 150 Euros per hour. Some also provide extra services that need to be paid for. Of course, whether you subscribe to such services is up to you and your one-eyed slithering reptile!

Hot Escorts In Germany!

Well, the escorts on Kaufmich com are certainly hot enough to get a kettle boiling with just a sultry gaze, but there aren’t all that many of them that look able to suck enough liquid out of your boner to make it dry for days! But then I could be mistaken! I am also unsure as to exactly how many escorts the site boasts, though there appear to be at least a couple thousand of these horny chicks.

Escorts profiles can be found on the site homepage. They have a rather small image thumbnail, with their name and the city they are in listed. Thus, you have Sofia_Amelia in Hamburg, BettyBliss in Munich, Teen_Sara in Essen, and Amazon_Poppy in Berlin.

Escort quality on the site is highly variable and most girls do not seem to be full-time escorts. Actually, the majority appear to work as escorts for the fun of it and still have their day-to-day job. Click on any escort profile that interests you and you will see her image gallery plus videos if these are uploaded. Also featured are reviews, a kind of bio, description of services rendered, places they are willing to meet, and an extensive list of physical attributes like age, height, tattoos, hair color, sexuality, languages they are fluent in, and more.

I mentioned photos and videos, right? Well, the vast majority of escort photos I have seen on the site look like they were taken by amateurs. Most are selfies and a few are indeed professionally shot, but not that impressive to look at. A few profiles also lack media of any sort. Why I can't say. And to be sure this sort of thing contributes to the overall amateurish look of the site.

And before I forget, it bears mentioning that escorts on this German escort site do not usually list their phone numbers for clients to call. Instead, once you go through the profile of an escort and love what you see, you are supposed to send her a private message. However, only site members who are logged in can send private messages to escorts, and to login, you have to register for free first.

If you do intend to hire escorts here, your best bet would be to go for girls with the most flattering reviews. That could be TattooGirlDeluxe, an escort in Bruhl with 58 reviews and counting, nearly all of which praise her bedroom skills. This lass does not do anal or XXX without a CD, but she can blow you, lick you and your balls, play pissing games, indulge your fetishes and have sex in just about any position your old bones and wicked heart might crave! Attagirl!

Getting Into A Fuck-Fest With Incredible German Escorts!

For sure there are loads of incredible German escorts out there, but the odds of running into them on Kaufmich com is a little on the small side! Yeah, this operation is not as big and premium as most of its peers and everything from escort quality and the site design speaks of compromises.

Talking of site designs, Kaufmich has an average one, that’s stuffed with information you might want or not want to see. At the very top are the Escort List, Community, and Magazine tabs. The first lets you search for escorts by cities, the second directs you to blogs and escort-oriented events, while the latter opens a new tab on your browser where you can have your fill of the glossy site magazine.

A couple of search bars call the top of the homepage home. The first of these has a pull-down menu that lets you pick from escorts, strip bars, swingers clubs, brothels, and escort agencies. The other search bar lets you look for escorts within a 20-kilometer search radius from wherever in Germany that you reside.

Now, there are login and registration tabs at the top right, with the rest of the page filled with escort ads, blog entries. There's some spam and ads too.

What I Think of Kaufmich

Well, to be honest ASF, the only reason I would consider registering on Kaufmich and making the bitches on this German escort site scared of the artillery I am packing in my shorts is if I am dying tomorrow and the doctor recommends that I fuck every German girl possible in the shortest time possible! There are many things I do not like here, starting from the site design, the fact that you need to send messages to escorts rather than call them, plus the average quality of escorts Germany,

There really is no reason to recommend Kaufmich com, not even if all the ladies on the site queued up to lick my balls and sit on my face! I would pass on Kaufmich and so should you, unless TattooGirlDeluxe is promising to suck long life and heavy prosperity into your almighty woody!