Locanto Ireland

Locanto.ie

    Ever heard of the Emerald Isle? It is another name for Ireland, the country of leprechauns and spuds that’s full of jolly fellows who routinely drink whiskey strong enough to strip the metal off a condemned aircraft carrier!

    Ireland is a country of unnatural beauty and its inhabitants are pretty interesting, with the girls routinely strong enough to wrestle you into bed all by their lonesome and baptize your cock in the stickiest cunt juice it will ever encounter! Ever been to Ireland? Well, this is the 21st century and you don’t have to step foot in the country to know and love it. Sites like Locanto.ie lets you see what the country and its escorts are like and judge if them babes are worth coming over for a good bit of fucking gymnastics!… Here's my Locanto.ie review.

The Price Is Right!

    Here is where you get to hear what your money gets you on Locanto.ie. Now, the problem is that most profiles on the site simply don’t list their rates. I have no explanation as to why, only that it is a stupid thing to do, as not all of us have the time to call up escorts and inquire how much they charge.

    Anyway, I did come across a few ads that were brave enough to post their rates. One was of a girl with the profile name of Scarlett Houston who calls herself Grace. She’s a chick who apparently loves to laugh and have fun, rocks a tight and toned body, plus full and natural tits. There were no pictures on her profile to let you see what Grace actually looked like and all I know about her I got off her profile data.

    Grace offers full service and GFE, plus sex in whatever position best makes you ecstatic. Her rates are $100, $130, $170 and $200 for 20, 30, 45 and 60 minutes of her time respectively. You can also book this 24-year old Drogheda slut for an all-night fuckathon that makes her cunt looks like an apple pie a grenade had gone off in!

    There was another ad in Drogheda, this one showing an image of a young guy with a muscled torso. The face is not visible, but you would be right to assume he has a cock you can harpoon fish with! This guy is 21-years old and is a masseur who likes kneading the flesh of the ladies. I didn’t get his name and his charges are 60 Euros for 30 minutes and double that for an hour. That translates to $73 and $121 in American money. I guess I can dress up in skirts and wear a bra stuffed with throw pillows and convince him to give me a massage!

    So, you should be able to find a girl here to bone for like $100 per 20-30 minutes. If you need an hour to fuck a chick blind, deaf and dumb, budget like $200-$300. That is comparable to what you pay in the states.

Sexy Locanto Escort Profiles

    Locanto is an international site, with Locanto.ie being the Irish version that lists escorts Ireland looking for fellas to show their pussies reasons to get wet and stay wet all week! Right on the homepage is a list of Irish cities and you click on any of these cities to get where you are going. Instead of taking you straight to an escort page, your click will direct you to a page where you can find work, buy just about anything bar a main battle tank, get dates, find jobs, and more. There is also a Personals section and there is where you can find an Escort link that takes you to where the escorts are.

    Escort image thumbnails lack images. They just show the age of the escort, her location, a short title, and some text that says stuff about how sweet and sexy the escort is and how she’s looking forward to fucking brain matter out of your asshole. There are multiple escort profiles here with the same title but with different escorts and I am unsure what to make of that.

    Anyway, escort profiles when clicked usually contain multiple images that can be viewed in slideshow format. Profiles can also be shared via mail, Facebook and Twitter. There’s usually little text in them, but there’s a map that can be clicked to see exactly where in Ireland the escort whose profile you are checking out is resting her aching bottom!

    Some profiles have reviews and you can send direct messages to any escort, flag their ad, and browse from one escort profile to the next courtesy of a Next and Previous button. And before I forget, it just so happens that if you are logged in to the site you can follow any escort of your choice.

    So, most escort profiles on the site lack detail and polish. Pictures are absent on most as well and escorts on Locanto.ie, for the most part, appear below-average in quality. Yeah, some are hot, but fucking a burning woodpile might be better than banking your boner in the savings account the escorts here got running in their snatch!

Locanto Today And Forever!

    Ever seen a Locanto site? Well, they all look the same and have the same site features, with Locanto.ie following the usual format. That means there’s a login/registration tab at the top right of the page, plus a search bar in the middle. You can use this search bar to find escorts or job opportunities that are within a certain distance of your locale. Most of the homepage is filled with a list of popular locations, followed by Irish counties like Cork, Dublin, and Mayo, with text near the bottom of the page informing you how to use the site for best effect.

    The site design is on the whole average and unremarkable, with site features being lacking. Spam is present.

What I Think of Locanto Ireland

    Well, if you are in the Emerald Isles and want to get laid, I would suggest you find pussy on Locanto.ie only if a mob boss held a cannon to your balls and talked about making you a eunuch! Steer clear of this site, gents.